TurboFool (Neither, really)

So in my line of work I get a surprising number of people who ask me on a daily basis what they should do to create a good password. The shocking number of people who think “password” or “123456″ is a good password is rather sad, and some education is definitely needed. So here’s a rough idea of how I created MY password, hopefully while not divulging enough details to let someone into MY per>>> [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] <<< > source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins

the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH. do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!

there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot. you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE’S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.

human cloning isn’t NEAR. it’s already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net

you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!

kilroy2. was here … kilroy2.0 is everywhere

>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<<nsight into my personal technique will help you develop a similar strategy that will keep you and your private data safe from the unscrupulous hackers out there on the web who will exploit any weakness they can. Feel free to let me know in the comments if you have any of your own techniques that might help out your fellow readers.

I have no idea if this is old, but a friend just sent it to me and I had to post it:

So, I was just playing 1 vs 100 on Xbox Live (which is SO much fun), and Chris Cashman was giving away copies of the awesome (from everything I’ve heard) Live Arcade game, Shadow Complex. The challenge was simply to email in a good reason why you deserve a copy of the game. But he said no sob stories, so that pretty much ruled out the fact that I was laid off yesterday, and that he was mostly looking for the most clever or funny reason we deserved a copy of the game.

That got me thinking. What could I write that would be funny enough to get their attention? Occasionally I manage to write something funny, but I was short on time and had to come up with something fast.

So then I remembered The Drabblecast’s recent Nigerian Spam Scam contest, where people wrote some damn clever parodies of the well-known Nigerian emails. I figured what the hell, it was a unique angle on the idea, so I quickly threw something together and sent it in and waited patiently.

He read a few entries, most of which didn’t win, and then revealed that they were getting so flooded with entries that they were now up to over 3,000 emails! I knew there was no chance I could win with that many people writing in. I simply wasn’t that clever.

And then I heard my name on TV. Well, not my real name, but my gamertag, TheTurboFool. Chris Cashman began to read my message live to over 50,000 people. Sure enough, they loved it, and I was the second winner of the night! And I don’t remember him reading off any others, so if anyone else did win, they were only contacted by email.

So here, unedited, with typos and all, is what I sent in. Given more time I probably could have made it much, much funnier, but it did the trick:

Dear kind sir Cashman,

I bit you fare do from the majestic heartful land that is glorious
republic of Nigeria. I inform you that our grand leader, the honorable
Motombu Lalalalalalaling has past to the great orchard in the sky due
to long battle with boredom.

It is ours to understand that he had no family to pass his fortune.
But it has been our attention brought that your kindness and
generosity is much beyond that of television game show hosts, and we
believe you to do great things with his belongings.

In order to achieve the transmittal of his funds, we merely request
that you send along a code for the king’s favorite Xbox Live Arcade
game, Shadow Complex, as proof of your devotion to goodness. Please
send game to his Gamertag at TheTurboFool in order to initiatize this
important transfer.

Thanks to your wonderful glory and unmatched loveliness,

Consult to King Motumbu and your loyal fan,

TheTurboFool

So, despite its flaws, I still won, and I’m extremely happy. I’m going to get started on the game as soon as 1 vs 100 ends, and I’ll try to write in a mini review when I have time.

So according to USA Today, high-level video game publisher Ubisoft has chosen the famous anti-science, pro-Measles, “mother warrior” Jenny McCarthy to front their new fitness game for the Wii, Your Shape.

The game’s a big deal for Ubisoft as it was hinted at back during E3 for coming with a camera accessory that the company is comparing (loosely) to Project Natal, Microsoft’s exciting new motion-tracking peripheral. Ubisoft’s idea is that the camera can scan and map your body for the sake of fitness tests, and likely for more advanced tracking of your routine than the balance-based tests the Wii Balance board currently uses.

Jenny McCarthy with her son, as well as boyfriend Jim Carrey, at a "Green Our Vaccines" rally

Where Jenny comes into play appears to be both as a pitchwoman of sorts (likely appearing on the packaging and in commercials), as well as an in-game avatar who guides you through your routine. Because who’s a better source of advice on health and fitness than someone with incredibly inaccurate knowledge of biology, chemistry, neurology, psychology, and any other field that can affect a person’s health, despite having been corrected time and again by people with drastically better education than she has? She actively promotes the falsehood that vaccines are toxic and cause Autism (completely untrue in every possible way), was way too far into the Indigo Child absurdity until she realized her child was Autistic and [poorly] wiped all traces of the previous belief from the web, highly recommends injecting oneself with Botulinum Toxin (Botox) without a hint of irony, has indirectly led to over 200 deaths at last count, and over 47,000 illnesses through her spread of bullshit, and believes these deaths (and more) are a necessary loss in her war against a problem that doesn’t exist. Yes, THIS is the woman I want helping teach my family how to be healthy.

I think Ubisoft has failed to take this into account with their choice, and probably isn’t even aware of this controversy. They see her as a popular and attractive woman who, thanks to Oprah, is in the limelight quite frequently, and they see paydirt. But maybe, just maybe (probably not, but still), if we all make the effort to make them aware of the hypocrisy of this decision, they’ll reconsider. It can’t hurt, right?

So how do we do it? Well, we head on over to Ubisoft’s corporate site, click on the Contact Us link (I’d link to it, but it appears to be session-specific), and speak our minds. Now, let’s do so rationally and calmly, treating them with respect. This is a major company full of likely extremely intelligent people, many of whom are probably full of integrity. We stand the best chance of getting through to them by appealing to them on a rational level instead of just displaying the outright anger this woman fills us with. Link to fantastic sites like Jenny McCarthy Body Count and Stop Jenny as resources, and pick out articles from the many wonderful sites on the body count links page as evidence, or find your own. Point is, give them the sound reasons why this choice not only reflects poorly on them, but helps further promote the incredibly wrong idea that Jenny McCarthy is an authority on health. Oprah’s support has already done enough harm, but now a major video game directly connecting this woman to fitness will only serve to further convince families that this is a woman they can trust to keep their family safe, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Now I may get blasted in the comments for this (heck, I may actually GET COMMENTS), and I’m prepared for that. I will not censor them (minus the usual rules about personal threats and such), but I may also try to refrain from responding for the good of my blood pressure. Odds are the haters will make my case for me based on how they write on most other blogs that dare suggest science knows better than mommy instinct.

One note: I purposefully avoided making a petition for this. They don’t work, and they’re too easily ignored. Besides, they let people be lazy by simply copying a pre-written form comment to the company which diminishes the impact. If you care, please write your own thoughts on the subject. The more intelligent people they see putting in the effort, the more it’ll mean.

Good luck, and thanks in advance for the help.

I haven’t delved far enough into this game yet to give a truly professional review, plus I’ve rarely spent time reviewing games in the past. But since it’s E3 week, so far the game seems to have been passed over in the review process. In fact, due to the lack of reviews, I almost didn’t buy it. But as I have great trust in the team over at WayForward for being one of the more solid developers out there, I decided to take the plunge. The fact that I’ve known the lead artist, Matt Bozon, as well as Voldi Way potentially jades me a touch, but in the end I either enjoy a game or not.

In this scenario, so far, I’m definitely enjoying it. As is common to most good puzzlers, the gameplay is deceptively simple. The character can move only left or right (no jumping, ducking, etc.), climb fences (think of Mario), and change pages. Wait, what?

See, each level’s made up of multiple pages. So far I’ve seen as many as six, and as few as two. Each page is essentially a different platform layout for the current stage, each with its own hazards, walls, pathways, fences, etc. When you reach a limitation in your current page, you simply hit any button, and it swaps for the page that’s displayed on the bottom screen. Your character remains exactly where she was, whether she be on a platform, fence, or falling through the air, and ends up in the corresponding place on the new page. By continuously flipping pages, moving your character, and figuring out where you need to be on each page, you’ll work your way to the goal.

So far one twist’s been thrown into the gameplay, and I can only assume there will be more: little critters you have to collect along the way before you can exit the level. This often requires more creative movement and backtracking, and adds some challenge.

Beyond that, most of the game has a very classic feel. Gameplay graphics are simple, with an almost 8-bit (well, maybe 16-bit) feel, but purposefully so. It seems like it’s meant to remind us of the classic puzzlers of that age. Meanwhile the between-stage artwork, in particular, is classic Matt Bozon, with all of his charm fully intact. Music and sound effects also pay homage to the classic style, although they’re slightly more modern. That said, I tend to play my DS games with the sound off so I don’t bother those around me, so I don’t hear much of them.

It’s one of the most expensive games on DSiWare at the moment, being one of only four (if I’m not mistaken) selling for 800 points. But that’s still far less than any retail game on the DS, and I think it’s worth it. Along with the Art Style titles, I think it’s one of very few titles on DSiWare that show off the true potential of the medium.

If you’ve picked up the game, please pass along your comments here. I’d like to hear what you thought of it.

As the majority of the sites that are reporting this are doing a dreadful job of it, I’m going to link to the only site that explained it well (Paul Thurrott’s Supersite for Windows), and I’m going to summarize:

Microsoft announced that, yes, there are again six skus for Windows 7 instead of the single sku that all the closet Mac-lovers are supposedly crying for (like they really want to switch). But it’s a lot simpler than it sounds when you pay attention. In particular, only THREE versions will be relevant to consumers (and probably only two will be that visible anyway), and four for people in the computer support industry.

While there are still Starter and Home Basic versions, these are now ONLY for ultra-low-cost developing countries or some netbooks. We’ll likely never see either one in the US in normal use, and consumers shouldn’t be aware they exist.

• Home Premium now becomes the base version. Just like the current Home Premium, it’s like XP’s Media Center Edition was. Everything the home user needs, including Media Center, DVD movie burning, etc. This is what we’ll see shipping with the vast majority of computers.
• Professional replaced Business, but unlike Business it is a step ABOVE Home Premium and doesn’t sit beside it. So it contains everything Home Premium does (including Media Center), plus domain joining, remote desktop hosting, advanced backup functionality, offline folders, etc. This is the one most small to mid-size businesses should be buying or upgrading to.
• Enterprise/Ultimate are essentially the same OS as each other, adding Bitlocker, Applocker, Branche Cache, booting from VHDs, etc. Enterprise is the VLK version, while Ultimate uses retail licensing. Ultimate will have virtually no visibility, existing as an upgrade box, an upgrade option in Anytime Upgrade, and a rare incentive for OEMs to throw in for promotional purposes.

So the new nested structure makes it less confusing for someone to choose between versions (having no MCE or DVD movie burning in Business was annoying, but not having the fax center, shadow copy, remote desktop host, or domain support was a no-sell for me). Also, upgrading’s much easier. Anytime Upgrade for Vista allowed you to pay a lower fee to step up, but they made it so they had to ship you a disk and the appropriate license for it (initially you could use your original install disk and an emailed key, but supposedly this was too confusing, so they made it “easier” by doing it all by mail). 7’s process is a lot simpler, as it requires NO disk (everything’s already on your hard drive), the new key is given to you online at the time of purchase, and the upgrade process takes 15 minutes. So for the many, many business customers who will buy a computer at Staples with Home Premium only to learn upon their support technician’s arrival that it won’t work on their network, they’re one credit card transaction and 15 minutes away from the solution.

No, it’s not the easy, one-size-fits-all solution so many people were asking for, but it’s much better than what we had with Vista, and when marketed properly will be no more confusing than XP’s version structure.

Nothing’s been said yet about pricing, but I wouldn’t expect much better than the current Vista pricing structure. Then again, with all the surprises Microsoft’s thrown at us lately (7’s awesomeness, the beta’s incredible stability, the speed of launch, the genuinely original functionality, and this improved version structure), who knows what we’ll see. It sure would be nice to at least see some deals for people who bought retail copies of Vista. Especially Ultimate, with its almost-forgotten promises of “Ultimate Extras.”

Keynote – xkcd.com

There’s simply nothing I can add to this. xkcd’s never been better.