TurboFool (Neither, really)

In this day and age there’s a definite feeling among atheists that we’re on the shit list. We rank below the “terror” that is the Muslims (no pun intended), we’re barred from public office in several states, and considered sub-human by well-spoken members of the clergy. Most atheists are afraid to admit their lack of belief, and will do whatever they can to avoid the subject. Some go so far as to fake belief in order to avoid detection.

I typically find a middle ground between this and the heavily outspoken atheists that are finally making us known. I rarely directly bring up the subject (except online), especially as there’s rarely a point, but I also don’t avoid it. If someone asks me my religion, I’ll readily state that I have none, and am an atheist. But that doesn’t mean I don’t dread the moment, wondering what reaction I’ll get.

Now I’ll admit that in Southern California it’s really not that hard for me as it would be elsewhere. I can’t really think of any moments where I’ve been directly, recognizably persecuted for my lack of belief, or treated especially poorly. That said, outside of my circle of friends, it does generally bring up challenges. I’ve had people tell me it takes as much faith to be an atheist as a Christian. I’ve had people start questioning me on where love comes from. I’ve had people try to prove the divinity of the Bible. I’ve had people in a conversational, accepting, friendly tone let me know that they accept that I’m an atheist, but feel bad for me that I’ll be burning for eternity in Hell. The point is, it’s very uncommon that it’s mentioned and doesn’t lead to someone trying to save me, or point out that I’m wrong, and that’s never comfortable.

Yesterday, though, I was at a client’s office, assisting with the phone support for their email host. I spelled out my name to the support technician, and heard the owner of the company joke to her associate, “ooh, a nice Jewish boy!” I chuckled slightly at this since yes, my surname and background back up this assumption, and I’ve heard it before. I’ve also had the least problem with Jews as while I disagree with their religion no less than any of the rest, they tend to be some of the most likable and least judgmental towards others of any religious group that I’ve dealt with.

Anyway, her associate chided back that she had no way of knowing I was a Jew. The owner pointed out my last name. The smirk on my face was growing by the second. Her associate parried back that just because I had a Jewish last name didn’t prove my religion. Maybe I was Catholic. “Heck, I bet he’s an atheist. I’m sure of it.” I could barely keep from laughing on the phone at this point as I finished up the call.

Once I hung up, the owner asked me if I was Jewish. I laughed, gestured to her associate, and said, “nope, she wins,” with a chuckle as I got back to work. Her associate cheered over her successful guess, we chatted for a few moments about my family history, explaining the blood connections and roots of the name while I worked, and nothing else was said. It was friendly, open, non-confrontational, and felt nice.

Why can’t we have this more? Why do people like us have to live in dread of these conversations going the other way? Why can’t all of us be this tolerant of others and their idiosyncrasies? I think people’s religious beliefs are completely wrong, but I’m respectful enough to begrudge them their right to them and not treat them poorly over them. And likewise I’m sure many of my friends and coworkers who accept me believe I’m nuts for not accepting Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior, or whatever their religion dictates. But the people I choose to surround myself with are respectful enough to recognize and accept that difference. Heck, one of my best friends from my old job, and one of the most intelligent people I know, is an extremely hardcore Christian, but I only learned this from his MySpace page. Hasn’t changed the way I interact with him one bit, and considering how open I am about what I believe, I can only assume he’s aware of me. Yet neither of us has ever discussed the topic, and I hope to keep it that way. I respect him too much to get into a religious argument that could damage a friendship. And don’t get me started with the most important person in my life, the woman I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life with. We even take the risk and have the conversations, but we still work hard to respect each other’s differences and grow our perspectives off them, and it’s fantastic.

My point is that there’s plenty of room for this in the world, but there seems to be so very little of it. Right now Christians claim there’s a war on their religion from the secularists. But what they don’t seem to realize is that they started it. Their lack of respect for beliefs no more crazy than their own, and their push to either convert us or make us live by their laws has forced our hand. We’re not at war with them, but we’re also not going to be stepped on by their bigotry, prejudice, and disrespect any longer. We’re here, we live alongside them, we’re just as valuable to society, and we’re HAPPY to work together with them to make our towns, cities, states, and countries a wonderful place for us all. There is a middle ground, and most on our side are merely striving to reach even that. Right now we’re barely pushing back from the edge. But we’re gaining. Mingle with us in the center, like so many of the wonderful people I’ve managed to associate with, and everything will be just fine. Those that don’t will likely eventually find themselves on that very same edge.

As I get more and more involved in the world of skepticism, my skills at smelling bullshit become more finely honed (and boy is there a lot of it). I have a long way to go, but I still find myself picking up on things much faster than I did before, even if I can’t pinpoint what’s wrong, but just feel like there’s something “not right.”

Lately there’s been one word that, more and more, sets off my alarms whenever I see it. When I’m reading an article, or having a conversation, and this word comes up I start analyzing the subject much more closely than I might have before, and I begin to question my own instinctual reactions, opinions, and beliefs about the subject. What’s the word?

“Tradition”

Anybody who knows me personally and knows my politics has to know right off the bat what the most recent example of this for me has been: California’s Prop 8. That’s right, the supposed “re-affirmation of traditional marriage,” which is a friendlier way of saying, “we can’t publically admit to being religiously-motivated bigots, so we’ll pretend this isn’t about keeping you homos from that last piece of equality and recognition as human beings of which you just recently managed to get a tiny taste. (whew)”

And more and more often this word seems to be the excuse for all sorts of intolerance or backward thinking. The so-called “war on Christmas” exists in the minds of Christians who see their holiday being eroded by people and businesses who recognize that, shocker, everyone’s not a Christian, and it might just be a nice thing to include these people in your well-wishing. Suddenly people are forced to confront the awful realization that that one time a year (which is really one of many) that they think is all about their messiah (regardless of what history has to say about the real reasons for the season) is being filtered down to include everyone! Sure, it was already filtered down to a shopping holiday decades ago, after having been filtered from prior celebrations, but that’s irrelevant, because at least the name still had “Christ” in it! So what can they do? Why, they can complain about how people are trying to ruin “tradition,” and be intolerant of them! And who wants to do that?

The word “tradition” seems to strike a chord with people. Most traditions are pretty innocuous, consisting of silly things like family members taking turns setting the table for dinner, playing license plate bingo on road trips, what foods are served at what holidays, etc. These sorts of traditions are fun and harmless, of course, but they also provide stability, and stability provides comfort. The average person generally tries to stay as far-removed from change as possible (some political persuasions more than others), so anything they can do to stave off change is A-OK by them.

Now this isn’t anything new. Doing things the traditional way has existed for ages (duh), and it’s likely hard-wired into our brains. We’re pattern-seeking beasts, and when we find something that we can recognize works, we hold onto it tightly. But it still seems like lately I’m butting up against this word more and more, and it seems less and less harmless every time. Whether it’s traditional marriage, traditional holidays, traditional beliefs, etc., it just seems more and more like an excuse not to include people who don’t follow your way of life, or even to force that way of life upon them regardless of whether they believe it. And for me it’s turning into a bright, flashing bulb of a clue that whatever follows that word may be completely worthless.

Has anyone else had trouble with this, or any other words or concepts lately? Are there any other common signs you use to pick out fruitless, lazy arguments from the genuine ones? I’d love to get some feedback on your own experiences with these types of buzzwords, or anything else that makes a blip on your skeptical radar when it comes to social and societal concepts. Or maybe you disagree with my opinion on this word and feel there’s greater value to it than I’m taking into account. Let me know.