Tag Archives: writing

Occasionally I’m clever. Problem is it’s mostly spontaneous, short, and rarely useful. If I set out to do something clever or be clever I’m pretty much doomed to failure. But occasionally I stumble upon it.

A few years back (at least five) there was a post on the IGN Boards Vestibule (shudder) to post something completely nonsensical. I posted the following, which I wrote on the spot:

The earth really is flat, carried on the back of an octupus (of average size). The sun, which is also flat, actually revolves around the earth, flipping over at a rate of 1 googol per second. The moon (which, strangely enough, is round) is actually attached to the octupus by a giant string, and the octopus is using it as a yo-yo, but extremely slowly. The other planets are mostly illusions projected by the octopus’ older psychic brother, “sid” (not capitalized). The exception is Pluto which is, ironically, the home of Goofy, but, also ironically, this Goofy cannot talk. The planet, however, speaks in a thick, southern drawl.

Short, sweet, and arguably clever. I certainly thought so at the time, and elements of it capture my attention now. But what bugs me more is that I can rarely repeat anything of even this level, much less the exceptionally better writings that I’d love to create. Creativity astounds me, fascinates me, and earns my deepest respect. People who are creative fill me with awe, and I enjoy just basking in their existence. But inevitably I’m also left to some degree of jealousy, or at least envy.

I think my problem may simply be that I’m easily distracted and relatively impatient. I’m a perfectionist, and the catch with us is that if we can’t do something perfectly, we tend not to bother at all. When I start attempting to be creative and find myself not producing something up to my standards immediately, I walk away from it. What I completely ignore is that real authors, artists, etc. take weeks, months, or years to perfect their works, and I can only presume they all start with rough works that can’t possibly be up to their own standards. The problem is that knowing this doesn’t seem to help me. It doesn’t seem to put me on the right path. And worst of all, it doesn’t give me the idea with which to start. Perhaps that’s all I need is the kernel from which to work and I’ll have what I need.

Mmm… popcorn…